I know I live in suburbia because when someone passes me on the footpath they say hello. They look a bit sheepish, but they say it.
Very few people walk anywhere, they all have cars, several of them. In fact you never actually see many people. They are cocooning. Just like Faith Popcorn said they would 10 years ago.
It's nice and quiet, but I'm struggling with a few issues. I'm struggling with my rubbish. I have discovered rubbish collection is a suburban artform. Here in this part of Sydney you get three enormous bins - red, green and yellow. And you put them out on the street in front of your house, on the right day, just like everyone else in the street. It seems to be some kind of secret code that everyone knows but it never gets talked about. Everyone who lives in the suburbs anyway. A true citydweller doesn't have to put bins out. Your rubbish goes down a shute and it's gone forever. Fantastic.
Luckily for me the cable tv guy came round on Thursday last week, and explained to me I'd put out the wrong bin. He also fixed the cable tv which is miraculous in itself. It appears I've been doing the wrong thing with my rubbish for a month.
I was under the impression you put all three bins out on rubbish day - Thursday. Would this not seem the obvious thing to do? Nah. As this very sensible cable guy explained, the green bin for garden rubbish and the yellow bin for recyclables are rotated, week and week about. That's why I've noticed some of my bins haven't been emptied. I wonder how long it would have taken me to figure this out on my own? Years probably.
I'm also a little disappointed none of my friendly - but distant - neighbours has popped over to take me in hand and explain it all. I expect they simply don't realise that it's possible to live in Sydney for almost three years without putting out a rubbish bin. I never did this in the city. I had no idea. They must think I'm nuts. Or very very stupid.
I referred to my mother for further instructions. She lives in Queensland but apparently they have a similar system. Amazing. I told her I was confused because the people in the next block had their green bins out, and they were emptied, but mine wasn't. I thought it meant the people in my street didn't have any "green" to put out. But she says no, what happens is the people around the corner are on another rubbish collection route and might have completely different days for collection.
My God it's so complex! The system itself is fantastic, much better to have these great big wheelie bins than the silly little blue bin we had for recycling in Wellington. Back home you go to sleep listening to the sound of the wind blowing your neighbour's little blue recycling bin down the bank beside your house. Smacking into the wall just outside the bedroom on the way down. Ah, the memories.
Of course the environmental side of the coin is the theory that if you give people big rubbish bins, they'll just fill them up. When they should be ploughing it all back into the earth. Or paying a lot of extra money to have it disposed of. I wish councils gave out compost bins. If I had one I'd use it. But I'm not putting one in a backyard I don't own.
That would be a great thing to make out of recycled plastic wouldn't it?
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Sux
It can't be coincidence.
I'm not a believer in conspiracies generally, but this is getting beyond a joke. Four years I've lived in Australia, a struggling Kiwi just trying to get by and pay the bills. Some enormous bills too, because we live in Sydney with the rest of the First world's wealthier refugees.
In four years I've been issued with four phone numbers in this country, the most recent only four weeks back. ALL four numbers have had the number "six" in them. Or should I say "sux"?
It's a plot to make us Kiwis identifiable. They know the 'sux' is the last thing to go from your Newzild accent. The 'sux' hangs on long after the 'fush' has become 'feesh' and 'chups' are ... fries.
I can say "Stray-ya" like everyone else in Stray-ya. I can pronounce the name of the nation's cricket team captain using only half its consonants, with no spaces "Rrieypon'ing".
But while I still say 'sux', they can spot me.
It started way back in 1990 when we lived here for a year and our first phone number had a "sux, sux, fow-ve" in it. I remember phoning in a pizza delivery order and getting to the part right at the end where you give your number in case they need to call you back, and after I'd give the number the guy would ALWAYS say "Aw yura Key-we arna ya?" Everytime. And we ate quite a lot of pizza.
Oh yes. And here we are, 15 years later, back in Sydney, not ordering pizza anymore cos I'm allergic these days ... but still getting the "yura Key-we arn ya?" after EVERY recitation of my phone number. Although I admit these days we seem not to have to give out phone numbers so much. Maybe email has spared us. Maybe it's because most folks have clever little phones that remember the numbers without being told. I love that.
Oddly though I believe my accent is much stronger now, even after being here three years, than it was after only a year of living here way back in 1990. Is it possible that as we age we fall more heavily into our vocal speech patterns, and it doesn't matter what you hear around you, it's not going to change?
Or, and I like this theory much more, maybe it is that the Kiwi infiltration into Australia for decades and decades is having the effect of watering down the Australian accent? I can't pick the difference anymore between my accent and an Australian's, because theirs is milder? This isn't my theory, I've heard it said in linguistics circles. So it must be true. Although I think those circles are in NZ.
Anyway, we Kiwis can't take all the credit for the elimination or at least tempering of the ghastly Australian drawl. There are plenty of other people living here speaking all manner of weird languages. It all helps.
In a shop window today I saw a sign saying "We speak .. Italian, Mandarin" and then it had some other funny foreign language listed written in the correct alphabet, and I have no idea what language it was. It didn't look like Arabic, or anything European, or Asian. Next time I go past the shop I will go in and ask. There's no point living here if you don't learn from it.
This morning on the train a Chinese woman asked if the train stopped at a particular station. She was obviously visiting the area because she was trying to find the right page in the timetable while keeping her son under control, speaking to him in Chinese and me in English, virtually at the same time, as mothers do. I know Chinese, or Mandarin, are impossibly difficult languages to learn and I know English is just about as bad. I sat there on the train thinking how smart that woman must be that she can not only keep Chinese and English in her head but can try and actually read and understand a Sydney CityRail timetable as well.
I've always thought I should be able to speak at least one other language. I've felt stupidly monolingual when in the company of businesspeople from overseas. I was heartened to read an NZ news item recently quoting some language expert saying all New Zealanders are bi-lingual, because we absorb so much Maori just from the environment around us. It's certainly true that I know plenty more Maori than your average white Aussie knows of any Aboriginal language. I don't know any either. You just don't hear it. Certainly not in Sydney. Or on TV. Or the radio.
I remember causing a strange little incident at work one day here in Sydney (yes back when I had a job) by making the off-hand remark in a chat with a few workmates that I could sing the song "Run Rabbit Run" in Maori, if anyone wanted to hear it. The song was being used (the English version of course) in a commercial at the time and we'd been talking about the commercial, it was for Melbourne. I stopped the conversation dead. It was weird. I think I made them feel bad.
Oma Rapeti, oma rapeti, oma oma oma.
The last word on language: I saw a sign tacked to a power pole today that said "For Sale. Everything Must Gone".
I'm not a believer in conspiracies generally, but this is getting beyond a joke. Four years I've lived in Australia, a struggling Kiwi just trying to get by and pay the bills. Some enormous bills too, because we live in Sydney with the rest of the First world's wealthier refugees.
In four years I've been issued with four phone numbers in this country, the most recent only four weeks back. ALL four numbers have had the number "six" in them. Or should I say "sux"?
It's a plot to make us Kiwis identifiable. They know the 'sux' is the last thing to go from your Newzild accent. The 'sux' hangs on long after the 'fush' has become 'feesh' and 'chups' are ... fries.
I can say "Stray-ya" like everyone else in Stray-ya. I can pronounce the name of the nation's cricket team captain using only half its consonants, with no spaces "Rrieypon'ing".
But while I still say 'sux', they can spot me.
It started way back in 1990 when we lived here for a year and our first phone number had a "sux, sux, fow-ve" in it. I remember phoning in a pizza delivery order and getting to the part right at the end where you give your number in case they need to call you back, and after I'd give the number the guy would ALWAYS say "Aw yura Key-we arna ya?" Everytime. And we ate quite a lot of pizza.
Oh yes. And here we are, 15 years later, back in Sydney, not ordering pizza anymore cos I'm allergic these days ... but still getting the "yura Key-we arn ya?" after EVERY recitation of my phone number. Although I admit these days we seem not to have to give out phone numbers so much. Maybe email has spared us. Maybe it's because most folks have clever little phones that remember the numbers without being told. I love that.
Oddly though I believe my accent is much stronger now, even after being here three years, than it was after only a year of living here way back in 1990. Is it possible that as we age we fall more heavily into our vocal speech patterns, and it doesn't matter what you hear around you, it's not going to change?
Or, and I like this theory much more, maybe it is that the Kiwi infiltration into Australia for decades and decades is having the effect of watering down the Australian accent? I can't pick the difference anymore between my accent and an Australian's, because theirs is milder? This isn't my theory, I've heard it said in linguistics circles. So it must be true. Although I think those circles are in NZ.
Anyway, we Kiwis can't take all the credit for the elimination or at least tempering of the ghastly Australian drawl. There are plenty of other people living here speaking all manner of weird languages. It all helps.
In a shop window today I saw a sign saying "We speak .. Italian, Mandarin" and then it had some other funny foreign language listed written in the correct alphabet, and I have no idea what language it was. It didn't look like Arabic, or anything European, or Asian. Next time I go past the shop I will go in and ask. There's no point living here if you don't learn from it.
This morning on the train a Chinese woman asked if the train stopped at a particular station. She was obviously visiting the area because she was trying to find the right page in the timetable while keeping her son under control, speaking to him in Chinese and me in English, virtually at the same time, as mothers do. I know Chinese, or Mandarin, are impossibly difficult languages to learn and I know English is just about as bad. I sat there on the train thinking how smart that woman must be that she can not only keep Chinese and English in her head but can try and actually read and understand a Sydney CityRail timetable as well.
I've always thought I should be able to speak at least one other language. I've felt stupidly monolingual when in the company of businesspeople from overseas. I was heartened to read an NZ news item recently quoting some language expert saying all New Zealanders are bi-lingual, because we absorb so much Maori just from the environment around us. It's certainly true that I know plenty more Maori than your average white Aussie knows of any Aboriginal language. I don't know any either. You just don't hear it. Certainly not in Sydney. Or on TV. Or the radio.
I remember causing a strange little incident at work one day here in Sydney (yes back when I had a job) by making the off-hand remark in a chat with a few workmates that I could sing the song "Run Rabbit Run" in Maori, if anyone wanted to hear it. The song was being used (the English version of course) in a commercial at the time and we'd been talking about the commercial, it was for Melbourne. I stopped the conversation dead. It was weird. I think I made them feel bad.
Oma Rapeti, oma rapeti, oma oma oma.
The last word on language: I saw a sign tacked to a power pole today that said "For Sale. Everything Must Gone".
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Activities for the Unemployed No. 2
Mid-week horse racing! So you've got a bit of time on your hands during the week?
Well, here's a great day's entertainment - midweek horse racing. Yes, it's true, it will cost you, but if you stick to your budget you could manage on $50, here in Sydney anyway.
Sydney is the proud home of the lovely Royal Randwick racecourse. Randwick is a classy place and it does a good race day.
Midweek, it's kinda slow, so that's a good thing for us unemployed folk. It's good because they make it much cheaper to get in. Much cheaper than a Saturday at Easter, for example.
Here's a little comparison - gate entry at Flemington in Melbourne during the Melbourne Cup carnival is at least $50, more than $75 for a seat in the stand - the public stand. A member's ticket (if you can get one) will set you back more than $200.
In contrast, a Wednesday afternoon at Randwick in November costs $10 to get in, and another $10 to get in to the member's stand. To get into the Members you will have to tell them you belong to another racing club, and they will have to believe you. You are supposed to take your out-of-town member's pass with you as proof. It just so happens I do belong to a racing club in New Zealand, but had no pass with me yesterday at Randwick. I got in, I guess the accent and the NZ driver's licence helped. They are willing to believe because they need people to spend as much as possible because the crowd is so small.
When I first got to the course yesterday, there were more horses there than people.
Most of the time it will cost you a fortune to get into the Members at Randwick, so this is a good way to get in and have a look around, just to be able to say you've been there.
As for other spending: I bought a racebook for $5, but that's not essential. I bought hot chips, a coffee and one glass of bubbly, all of which are essential and cost about $15.
Then I spent $6 on a bet and made $20, and another $4 on a bet and made $12. This was a complete fluke and should not be taken as a general guide or indication of likely success.
It cost about $10 to get to the course and back on public transport.
So I didn't finish 'up', not quite 'even', but it was good fun. Randwick is a jewel in Sydney's crown, so when it's so much more accessible, and cheaper, take advantage.
Well, here's a great day's entertainment - midweek horse racing. Yes, it's true, it will cost you, but if you stick to your budget you could manage on $50, here in Sydney anyway.
Sydney is the proud home of the lovely Royal Randwick racecourse. Randwick is a classy place and it does a good race day.
Midweek, it's kinda slow, so that's a good thing for us unemployed folk. It's good because they make it much cheaper to get in. Much cheaper than a Saturday at Easter, for example.
Here's a little comparison - gate entry at Flemington in Melbourne during the Melbourne Cup carnival is at least $50, more than $75 for a seat in the stand - the public stand. A member's ticket (if you can get one) will set you back more than $200.
In contrast, a Wednesday afternoon at Randwick in November costs $10 to get in, and another $10 to get in to the member's stand. To get into the Members you will have to tell them you belong to another racing club, and they will have to believe you. You are supposed to take your out-of-town member's pass with you as proof. It just so happens I do belong to a racing club in New Zealand, but had no pass with me yesterday at Randwick. I got in, I guess the accent and the NZ driver's licence helped. They are willing to believe because they need people to spend as much as possible because the crowd is so small.
When I first got to the course yesterday, there were more horses there than people.
Most of the time it will cost you a fortune to get into the Members at Randwick, so this is a good way to get in and have a look around, just to be able to say you've been there.
As for other spending: I bought a racebook for $5, but that's not essential. I bought hot chips, a coffee and one glass of bubbly, all of which are essential and cost about $15.
Then I spent $6 on a bet and made $20, and another $4 on a bet and made $12. This was a complete fluke and should not be taken as a general guide or indication of likely success.
It cost about $10 to get to the course and back on public transport.
So I didn't finish 'up', not quite 'even', but it was good fun. Randwick is a jewel in Sydney's crown, so when it's so much more accessible, and cheaper, take advantage.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
More On Super - But Life First
It's been awhile - lots of stuff going on. There's nothing like shifting house to upset your life.
Finally got the internet back up and running, no thanks to that marvelous tribute to modern customer service - Telstra. They started out by telling me the house we were moving into did not exist, and things just got better and better from there. It's a 1950s semi. It's been on this planet longer than me.
A warning: if you let Optus rewire your connection, Telstra will wipe you from their books like you never were here. And if you move into such a place, it's going to mean a nice shiny new $200 connection for you! Which is tough in a rental situation. Plus another $150 (and a 10 day wait) to be connected to your ADSL provider.
Life's been a bit on the tricky side lately - lost my job, lost my cat and now an uncle has cancer. These things better happen in threes cos I've had enough dramatic life stuff to last me for at least 12 months.
I had a job interview last week but didn't get it cos they thought I would be bored. I love being bored! It's one of my favourite things. The money was really bad, so I was looking forward to being able to surf the net and IM friends for hours on end.
But on to more important things:
I have more info on getting Australian superannuation money out of Australia and back to NZ. I'm about to dislocate myself from a very big super fund, because it was a work one. I don't have an employer so it's easier to shift to a new fund - a bit less paperwork. So might as well take the opportunity.
There is also the possibility it will be easier to move the funds back to NZ from a smaller fund. This is just a theory BUT the rules are you have to apply to the super fund saying you are in "extreme" financial difficulty, and then they will let you have the money back in NZ. I was given the examples of "extreme" as not being able to afford to pay for a funeral or being about to have your house repossessed. One of those does seem a bit more extreme than the other, so I guess it's all in the way you express yourself.
My theory is very few funds - especially smaller ones - get many of these applications so I would guess the chances of getting your money back are higher from the funds with less experience of handling this sort of thing. So if you were thinking of changing to a small industry super fund, do it.
Another interesting aspect is what if the fund is a DIY? What if you manage your own fund? Do you have to apply to yourself to let yourself have your money back? The problem with this is managing your own fund is a significant undertaking, not for those of us who still count on our fingers.
The "extreme" hardship thing would only work once you were back in NZ too, so that would mean phone calls and chasing up from across the Tasman. Now that funds are portable, it's possible you could just keep shifting the money around until you found a fund that would let it go. I didn't ask but I also assume they don't care if it goes into another fund or not back in NZ. They seem to think once it's gone, it's gone.
Here's another theory, don't ask for all of it. It's possible it might be easier to get some of the cash - leave some of it behind. Say you suddenly needed NZ$20K because your daughter was picked up carrying dope in Singapore, the super fund would let you have NZ$20K if you left another A$10K behind in your fund.
If that was actually possible, then I think the whole issue of the civil rights of citizens in other countries starts to get very blurry. I already think the rules are much tougher for NZers than any other nationality here in Australia, and this is just another magnificent example.
I've just been reading about the Polish/Australian guy who ran away from Aus in the 80s with $1.5 billion that he owed to other people. Now he's happily making mega bucks in Poland and the Australian authorities can't touch him, because he's a Polish citizen. They are unlikely to extradite one of their own. He also has Australian citizenship.
So how come then they can 'touch' me!?? And my super?! Would I be extradited if I ran away to NZ with my super?!! Oh yes indeed. I'd be back here faster than you can say "Alan Bond".
Surely there must be someone in the New Zealand government who realises that ALL the Kiwis working in Aus who will eventually want to return home are NOT going to be able to bring home all those Australian dollars? It would be a great source of foreign investment for NZ.
I really hope there is someone in the NZ government somewhere who is battling away on this one, trying to get the Aussies to loosen up. Australian super fund and investment companies routinely buy up NZ ones. They already own most of the banks. What difference does it make to them if my super sits in the Australian fund or its NZ subsidiary? I would think the companies would actually make MORE money out of all the fees they charge when people shift funds.
So it must be an Australian government 'initiative' born out of the myth that NZers are a drain on the glorious Australian lifestyle. We just sit around drinking beer and smoking and filling up hospital beds and getting old. We don't do any work at all (especially me).
Did you know New Zealanders can't get the dole in Australia unless they are Australian citizens? Other nationalities can, just not Kiwis. But when we work here, we pay exactly the same tax as everybody else, and we have the same amount of super taken off us. And of course we can't have that either. At least, not until we make it to 65.
I'm going back to NZ to wait for that day.
Finally got the internet back up and running, no thanks to that marvelous tribute to modern customer service - Telstra. They started out by telling me the house we were moving into did not exist, and things just got better and better from there. It's a 1950s semi. It's been on this planet longer than me.
A warning: if you let Optus rewire your connection, Telstra will wipe you from their books like you never were here. And if you move into such a place, it's going to mean a nice shiny new $200 connection for you! Which is tough in a rental situation. Plus another $150 (and a 10 day wait) to be connected to your ADSL provider.
Life's been a bit on the tricky side lately - lost my job, lost my cat and now an uncle has cancer. These things better happen in threes cos I've had enough dramatic life stuff to last me for at least 12 months.
I had a job interview last week but didn't get it cos they thought I would be bored. I love being bored! It's one of my favourite things. The money was really bad, so I was looking forward to being able to surf the net and IM friends for hours on end.
But on to more important things:
I have more info on getting Australian superannuation money out of Australia and back to NZ. I'm about to dislocate myself from a very big super fund, because it was a work one. I don't have an employer so it's easier to shift to a new fund - a bit less paperwork. So might as well take the opportunity.
There is also the possibility it will be easier to move the funds back to NZ from a smaller fund. This is just a theory BUT the rules are you have to apply to the super fund saying you are in "extreme" financial difficulty, and then they will let you have the money back in NZ. I was given the examples of "extreme" as not being able to afford to pay for a funeral or being about to have your house repossessed. One of those does seem a bit more extreme than the other, so I guess it's all in the way you express yourself.
My theory is very few funds - especially smaller ones - get many of these applications so I would guess the chances of getting your money back are higher from the funds with less experience of handling this sort of thing. So if you were thinking of changing to a small industry super fund, do it.
Another interesting aspect is what if the fund is a DIY? What if you manage your own fund? Do you have to apply to yourself to let yourself have your money back? The problem with this is managing your own fund is a significant undertaking, not for those of us who still count on our fingers.
The "extreme" hardship thing would only work once you were back in NZ too, so that would mean phone calls and chasing up from across the Tasman. Now that funds are portable, it's possible you could just keep shifting the money around until you found a fund that would let it go. I didn't ask but I also assume they don't care if it goes into another fund or not back in NZ. They seem to think once it's gone, it's gone.
Here's another theory, don't ask for all of it. It's possible it might be easier to get some of the cash - leave some of it behind. Say you suddenly needed NZ$20K because your daughter was picked up carrying dope in Singapore, the super fund would let you have NZ$20K if you left another A$10K behind in your fund.
If that was actually possible, then I think the whole issue of the civil rights of citizens in other countries starts to get very blurry. I already think the rules are much tougher for NZers than any other nationality here in Australia, and this is just another magnificent example.
I've just been reading about the Polish/Australian guy who ran away from Aus in the 80s with $1.5 billion that he owed to other people. Now he's happily making mega bucks in Poland and the Australian authorities can't touch him, because he's a Polish citizen. They are unlikely to extradite one of their own. He also has Australian citizenship.
So how come then they can 'touch' me!?? And my super?! Would I be extradited if I ran away to NZ with my super?!! Oh yes indeed. I'd be back here faster than you can say "Alan Bond".
Surely there must be someone in the New Zealand government who realises that ALL the Kiwis working in Aus who will eventually want to return home are NOT going to be able to bring home all those Australian dollars? It would be a great source of foreign investment for NZ.
I really hope there is someone in the NZ government somewhere who is battling away on this one, trying to get the Aussies to loosen up. Australian super fund and investment companies routinely buy up NZ ones. They already own most of the banks. What difference does it make to them if my super sits in the Australian fund or its NZ subsidiary? I would think the companies would actually make MORE money out of all the fees they charge when people shift funds.
So it must be an Australian government 'initiative' born out of the myth that NZers are a drain on the glorious Australian lifestyle. We just sit around drinking beer and smoking and filling up hospital beds and getting old. We don't do any work at all (especially me).
Did you know New Zealanders can't get the dole in Australia unless they are Australian citizens? Other nationalities can, just not Kiwis. But when we work here, we pay exactly the same tax as everybody else, and we have the same amount of super taken off us. And of course we can't have that either. At least, not until we make it to 65.
I'm going back to NZ to wait for that day.
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